Monster

Such is the crumbling foundation of a man
The tripping over his own feet
to stand on a street corner in the rain
just to catch a glimpse of the woman
with whom he is falling for.
Restlessly anticipating when he gets that kiss
under those dazzling lights in the sky
after a night of intimate conversation
he never thought possible.
Waking up every morning feeling the glow
of the sun that shies away in comparison
to the beam on his face.

Then arrives the day
the woman turns him into a monster.
An undeniable fact surfaces:
What she needs he doesn’t have.
It seems sudden to him
but has been lasting a lifetime for her
And although every day is a struggle to provide
He will never have it in time.
Timing is everything.
Or simply,
His love is not good enough.
And the crimson roses he leaves for her
wilt into dead black masses
dried and useless
like the thing that continues to thump
dejectedly in his chest.
The ring of the telephone
makes the last connection in his head melt away
for the pain is so intense
that even the slightest mention of her name
the quietest whisper of her voice
makes the trigger look that much easier to pull.

Then one evening
Alone with a bottle of liquid something in his hands
this withering mess of misery
realizes the cure to conquering
the deep crater of depression.

After that night, a new man emerges ready
to embrace the life that welcomes his rebirth
with his pants prepared to be unzipped
and his charm taking the place
of what used to be a genuine smile.
Leisure time is now defined by
having a different woman in his bed every evening
and each time he releases
his mind feels so relaxed with the knowledge
that when she leaves the next morning
his heart won’t hurt.

But this monster,
He doesn’t notice
that even though the numbers are rising
so are the risks
of creating monsters of his own
with those already so emotionally unstable
they jump in the bed before he asks
and take off their bras for him just to get it over with.
But he asks no questions.
Just puts his hands behind his head as she goes down
closes his eyes
and experiences the only way
to ever feel something
that means absolutely nothing.


full title: Monster, a.k.a How to Make a Player
6.14.06