I know you saw the shadows
in my eyes
that were so unlike
the characteristic
golden smiles of pride
radiating from your bloodline.
I wish I took the time to ask you
how you faced the world
when every day could have been your last
how you kept your head up
when you left the love of your life
for months at a time
while explosions greeted you
in your front yard.
I wish I asked you
how you walked tall
and wrote love letters
without falling apart
and how you found a way
to always return home
where twelve blessings were waiting for you.
Sometimes I wake up
and I wonder
which part of you lives in me
and if I'll ever find a way
to express it as beautifully as you.
I'm afraid
that I'll never have your strength
and I will always be
running
toward a love I'll never have.
I never really said
goodbye
when you left this world in peace
But if you're above and watching
I want to tell you
that even though I never asked you,
I know you always had faith in me
and for that I thank you
Thank you for my life
I won't give up on it.
3.18.07
.
